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Michael Thompson |
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Tracy Thompson with her son,
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When Michael Thompson rushed to Day Kimball Hospital’s Emergency Room for severe belly pain, he was merely 47 years old. Referred by his primary care physician, Dr. Joseph Crème, Diagnostic Imaging then revealed something that looked a lot like a blockage.When Dr. Michael Baum performed emergency surgery on Michael, he found the unexpected; advanced and aggressive colon cancer. Michael and his wife Tracy were devastated, but decided to break the news to their children and extended families two days before Thanksgiving of 2005.
Dr. Baum was right there with them from that first frightening day in the Emergency Room.Tracy says, “I love Dr. Baum.As soon as he diagnosed Michael, he seemed like a part of the family; not just a doctor, but a friend. Every day we were in the Hospital, he came in and sat and talked with us, sitting on the side of the bed, listening, sharing, and worrying with us. He cared so much about what was happening to our family.” That was the first of many hospitalizations for Michael at Day Kimball Hospital.Tracy says that “everybody made an incredibly hard situation a little easier including the Housekeeping staff.”
Shortly after Michael returned home to recover from his surgery, he was on his way back to Day Kimball for his first Oncology consultation.After meeting Dr. Gordon, Michael immediately liked and trusted him. As Michael stood outside the appointment window following his first talk with Dr. Gordon, overwhelmed by all the treatment he was going to have, he and Tracy looked up to see their Oncology nurse and old friend Sue Hibbard standing in front of them.The two families had known each other well since their children were in second grade. Sue showed her support and shared an emotional moment with the couple. It made a world of difference to Michael and Tracy to know their Oncology nurse. Sue and the rest of the wonderful staff in Oncology took excellent care of Michael through his challenging course of treatment.
Tracy says in retrospect, “if anything unusual happened, Michael wanted to talk with Dr. Baum. Michael wanted to know what he thought and what Dr. Baum would do.” The same eventually became true of Dr. Gordon, Sue Hibbard and later of Sue Antonelli, Michael’s Hospice nurse. “Michael felt so comfortable with Sue Antonelli because she was always there for him. He felt worried when she was on vacation. She was Michael’s lifeline.”
In response to the efforts made by the Oncology staff at Day Kimball, Michael had a few weeks of being "cancer free.” During that period of time, Michael participated in a Cancer Survivor DVD which was put together in the fall of 2006. Although Michael was doubtful about his ability to effectively convey his experiences, the video showed his true colors. Michael was radiant, intense, smiling, determined and startlingly insightful and his intense blue eyes were piercing, even on film.
On the DVD Michael said, “When you are faced with the prospect of dying, FOR REAL, you think of things you don’t think of before... is this my last fall? Am I going to see the leaves again? Am I going to see snow again? Different things start to come into your mind and you can’t be prepared for it... it is a ton of bricks that hit you...You know, in a strange way this experience has been positive. It might be hard to understand, but I appreciate my wife, family and friends more and they appreciate me more. In that odd sense it has been a blessing.This experience has been positive in that way to kind of clear out the fog or the weeds, if you will, of what is really important and what is not important. I don’t get upset like I used to. Little things don’t bother me anymore; even big things don’t bother me anymore. I mean, what’s bigger than being told you have cancer and you have a limited time to live... based on statistics? Statistics are just that... statistics. There are people who beat ‘em and there are people who don’t and I choose to be someone who’ll beat them. In that sense I think this has helped me become a better person for my family and friends.”
Michael’s recurrence of the cancer was swift and fierce. Michael and Tracy were at the survivor celebration day in late October 2006 and within a week he was admitted to Day Kimball for three weeks on Med Surg just before Thanksgiving. It became clear in this difficult admission that Michael could no longer eat, and that he had become Hospice appropriate. Michael was discharged home for the Holidays and all of the nurses and clinicians who had cared for him and his family were deeply touched by his courage and his gentle, uncomplaining cheerfulness. None of the Hospice caregivers at the Hospital were certain that he could even make it until Christmas. Everybody who knew Michael and his family were devastated, but not Michael. He was stealth, fierce and feisty in his desire to live.Tracy was pretty stealth too; talk about feisty and fierce!! They were a perfect pair. Tracy learned how to be hi-tech and her determination, dedication and organization, along with everybody’s love and support, as well as Michael’s own inner strength, kept him going. Tracy was an unbelievable, competent, skilled, and brave caregiver. She gave extraordinary care to Michael and the Hospice Team hopes that she is able to find some comfort in all she was able to do for and to give to Michael.
Tracy remembers with a smile the day that Hospice Nurse, Ruth Coffey, went to their home to admit ichael.“She spent hours helping us figure out how to give Michael his feedings through the port, how to use the stomach tube to drain anything he wanted to drink and how to administer his pain medications. She had us sticking oranges before we tried to access his tubing.The nurse was terrific, incredibly good humored and patient with us on a Sunday afternoon no less.”
Michael was tender, but he was also tough. Because Michael was able to settle into a comfortable place for the winter, with Hospice’s help he met many personal goals through those dark and cold months. He was able to spend deeply satisfying and happy times with Tracy, Gregory, Danielle, and their family. He was able to wrap up a number of business and work related matters and also pull his personal affairs into order. He took Danielle to the airport for a special cruise she had planned and he was there when she got back to hear all about her trip. He sat up late several nights talking with Gregory. In fact, Michael made it pretty comfortably through his 27th wedding anniversary on the 5th of April. The week after that was harder, and the week after that Sue Antonelli could no longer access Michael’s port or adequately control his pain or anxiety and he was readmitted to Day Kimball for symptom management.
Once again, the Hospital nurses, supported by the Hospice nurses, were very supportive of Michael. Jeff Schwend and Lorraine Peckham went above and beyond in caring for Michael and the entire family.Tracy shares,“Jeff was so kind, he spent so much time with us just listening and helping. He even took Gregory aside when he was really struggling and just sat with him and listened.” Tracy continues, “You needed them and they were there. They trusted me enough to let me help with his meds and all his personal care and they gave us privacy when we needed it, but when I was unable to manage Michael by myself, they came in a second when I had to call for help.”
Tracy remembers that “the Hospice Room was wonderful for Michael and all of us.We could walk him around a bit; we could stay over and many of us could be there without bothering other families or staff.The space and the rooms were a Godsend for his parents, siblings and friends.”
Michael loved his family and his friends. He loved his home and his work. Michael was a modest man with simple values and honest goals.Tracy was the love of his life and he just wanted to grow old with her. Michael was so proud of Greg and Danny; he wanted to watch them continue to grow in experience, love and commitment. He was devoted to all the people God put in his path. Michael wanted much more for the people around him than he wanted for himself. At the end, Michael was more concerned for Tracy and their children than he was for himself. He was less afraid to die than he was sad and frustrated to have to leave the wonderful and satisfying life he had worked so hard to build with all of the people whom he loved and cared for.
The truth of this situation; of this tragic loss, is that Michael was overtaken by an insidious, persistent, and ravaging disease. Michael undertook every possible cure, treatment option, plan of attack and care that was offered to him. He did NOT want to die. Michael had true courage and stamina and he did not go quietly into that good night. For many months Michael fought the cancer, the illness, and the side effects of treatment; he fought for his life. At the end of his life he fought death; valiantly, bravely, boldly.
In that fight for first his life, and then for his dignity and quality of life, Day Kimball Hospital and Hospice of Northeastern Connecticut stood by him every step of the difficult journey. From his diagnosis in the Emergency Room, to his urgent trip to the Operating Room, to his extensive treatment in the Oncology Clinic, to his many stays on Med Surg, to his five months as a Hospice patient, to his death in the Hospice Room, Michael needed and used the fullness of Day Kimball Hospital’s healthcare services and discovered one rich and compassionate relationship after another, even as the worst possible outcome was unfolding in his life.
Tracy tells a revealing story with tears in her eyes. A mere week after Michael’s death on the 25th of April, she came back into the Hospital to visit a friend’s young daughter on Med Surg.As soon as she walked on to the floor, nurses walked up to her, called her by name, hugged her, offered their condolences, told her how inspired they had been by Michael’s courage and her fortitude, offered to listen or to help if they could be of any service at all, apologized for not being there the day that Michael died, gave her tissues and remembered that she drank tea, not coffee. Tracy said, “I was afraid to come back to the Hospital. I was trembling and filled with tears and sadness. But they cared and they remembered and they shared that with me and that mattered so much to me that day. Where else could something like that happen except at Day Kimball Hospital?”
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