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Steve Bennardo, the Director of Tillinghast Funeral Home in Danielson, today at 52 years old. Steve worked hard to change his eating habits and lifestyle for a healthier mind and body. |
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Top: Jennifer and Tyrone today after her 196 lb weight loss. Bottom: The Glaspie family 2 years ago. Jennifer and Tyrone with their daughters Tyana and Jasmine. |
When Steve and Ellen Bennardo bought the Tillinghast Funeral Homes, where he had worked since 1992, in Danielson and Central Village in 2003, they rolled up their sleeves and got to work; remolding, painting, re-carpeting, installing new draperies and furniture, and generally refurbishing the look and feel of the Homes on Route 12. Steve and Ellen also made the third floor of the house their personal home.They worked hard and long making this important transition in their life and invested an incredible amount of time and energy in growing their business. Steve grew up in a home where everybody always worked hard, seven days a week. His father was a plumber, and his mother stayed at home with the children. Steve recalls, “if you stayed home from school, you had to be really sick! I never went to the doctor as a child or a younger man. I kind of went by the adage, ‘if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.’”
With everything going on in their lives, some things were overlooked. One day Ellen looked at Steve and said,“You haven’t seen a doctor in years and years. I want you to go.” Steve knew several local physicians from traveling about to get death certificates signed, and he had always appreciated the way that Dr. Joe Alessandro instinctively “understood that my schedule was as busy as his.” Even though the receptionist told Steve that Dr. Joe wasn’t taking any new patients, the next time Steve had to swing by to get a death certificate signed; Steve asked Dr. Joe if he would take him on as a patient and the answer was a cheerful and quick,“Yes!” From the very first time they met, Steve said, “I just liked Dr. Joe.”
When Steve went to his first appointment for a physical, he explained to Dr. Joe that he wasn’t entirely comfortable with doctors. Joe said, “I’m going to change that” and explained that “the patient is the pilot and the doctor is the navigator.”
A week later Dr. Joe called and told Steve that his sugar was too high. Steve went back to the office so that they could talk together about how to approach this potentially significant health problem. Steve didn’t want to use the medications available and Dr. Joe was prepared to give Steve time to make lifestyle changes, but provided warning that very few people who set out to make such changes actually manage the necessary adjustments.That day, Steve’s weight was 206 pounds and his sugar was 142. Steve wanted to correct these numbers with diet and exercise, so the two men agreed on a three month trial period. Steve also agreed to attend a Diabetes Clinic for education on nutrition.
Steve says the class was a revelation, not just in terms of the nutritional information he gained, but also in terms of the hardships and conditions with which other patients in the class were struggling.Things like morbid obesity, an insulin pump, the persistent pain of neuropathy and sugars in the 800’s really affected Steve. He knew that he wanted to do everything he could to avoid getting to the difficult places that many of his fellow patients at the clinic found themselves.The clinic taught him valuable information about carbs and starches and Steve said, “this was especially good for an Italian who loves pasta.” More importantly, the clinic inspired and motivated Steve, giving him a sense of what the outcome could be if he didn’t take control of his lifestyle and health.
Steve immediately cut his portion sizes. He started walking 4-6 hours a day and bicycled 25-50 miles per weekend, which caused significant weight loss.Three months later, Steve weighed 165 pounds and people began asking him if he was ill. Steve felt light headed, weak, tired all the time, and he had bought an entire new wardrobe. It was time to go back to see Dr. Joe. Although impressed, Joe was a bit worried. Steve had gone a bit overboard and lost too much weight too quickly. However, his sugar was much reduced, his goal of not using any medication had been met, and he was as fit as he had ever been.
Today, Steve aims to keep his weight between 170 and 180. He continues to watch the size of his portions and the fat and quality content of the foods that he chooses. He plans what he is going to eat, especially when he is going out. Steve doesn’t deny himself everything, but he practices moderation. He thinks before he eats, rather than regretting choices later. For exercise, Steve walks 45 minutes to an hour a day and bicycles when he feels like it. He always takes the stairs instead of the elevator and he walks instead of driving whenever he can. He takes no medication and he has more energy than ever. He has learned that he is not, in his words, “invincible.” He has also learned that no one needs to make lifestyle changes overnight or all at once. Steve said, “In retrospect, the crash course was wrong, this is a life long process and I have to do it in small bites. It is all about finding balance, trying to stay as healthy as I can for as long as I can. I am in pretty good shape today. I’m not a poster boy and I don’t want to be one. I am just trying to maintain my health. And Dr. Joe was my partner and friend in achieving that.” Steve added with a broad smile, “it works extra well for me that Dr. Joe and I are both Italian.We understand each other.”
Dr. Joe said,“Today it is essential for patients to be actively involved in their health care.With a motivated patient like Steve, we were able to form a partnership that allowed Steve to reach his goals for better health.This involvement leads to much better patient compliance and in turn, allows patients to achieve a better level of health.” A partnership for better health is what Steve needed and Dr. Joe provided. A simple, but successful combination.
For Jennifer Glaspie the path to greater health was found in a different sort a partnership. It involved the support and assistance of her Primary Care Physician and Day Kimball Hospital’s Diabetes APRN, but the center of the partnership was her faith in God and the unrelenting love and support of her family, especially her husband,Tyrone. In March of 2006, Jennifer had been on a high dose of a steroid for more than 6 years. She weighed 445 pounds and was an insulin dependent diabetic, using two types of insulin three times a day and one pill a day. One morning that month, her twin sister found Jenny passed out, called 911 and Tyrone, and held Jennifer’s little daughters, who watched in great fear as EMT’s worked to get Jennifer out of a diabetic coma.
This was a turning point for Jennifer and Tyrone. Jenny had been urged to have gastric bypass surgery, but refused. Her health was declining and she was deeply discouraged and often embarrassed in public. Once when Jenny had to fly someplace on church business with Tyrone and the girls, she was forced to buy a second seat.The day she collapsed,Tyrone, who is the Pastor of Glory Chapel in Central Village, gathered up his congregation and their family and prayed, fasted, and asked God to help Jennifer to get better and to be healthy again.
Miraculously, things started to change. Jennifer’s appetite diminished
significantly. She felt a new sense of control and will power, and she felt
upheld and supported by the unconditional love of God, her husband
and their parish.The pounds started to come off. Dr.Wagady Habashy
of Plainfield had been Jennifer’s Primary Care Physician right along and
he continued to work with her and to offer medication adjustments,
encouragement and support as her weight loss picked up speed.
Dr. Habashy sent Jennifer to Sue Collins, Day Kimball’s Diabetic Nurse
Educator. Regarding Jennifer, Sue said, “she was a challenge no doubt, but
I only provided her with the tools to help her improve her health – she
did all the work. Jennifer is living proof that lifestyle modifications can
change the course of diabetes. I am so pleased for her and very proud
of her.”
In the past eighteen months, Jennifer has lost a truly extraordinary 196 pounds and is no longer taking any medications because she is no longer a diabetic.These are big rewards, but there are many other rewards that might seem quite insignificant to a person who has never been so overweight.
Jenny says,“there are so many little things that other people take for granted, like when our car broke down a few weeks ago, and I had to walk along the roadside and I was fine. My cheeks aren’t red anymore, my glasses and wedding rings fit. I have a lap in which to hold my beautiful daughters. I can play with them outside on the swing set. I planted a garden comfortably, and we have flowers and vegetables because I can do this. I can even wear a seat belt. I can worship more freely and I have so much energy for my work as Administrative Secretary of Youth Challenge and Glory Chapel Family Outreach.The Lord did all this for me and it’s a huge deal that a skinny person might never notice”
As Jenny spoke,Tyrone watched her with his face aglow. He explained that he never stopped loving Jenny and always saw her as beautiful.“Whenever we are out in a new church, I always introduce her and ask my beautiful, gorgeous wife to stand up.” Tyrone did this when they were newlyweds, he did this in 2003, and he does it now.Tyrone and Jennifer are devoted Red Sox fans and laugh with delight of the memory of attending their first game ever together at Fenway Park this past May. When Jenny got there she realized she never would have been able to fit in the seats if she had gone before she lost the weight.Tyrone chuckles as he tells recent stories of people walking right past Jenny and not recognizing her. One church colleague even thought he was kissing another woman, because the woman he was kissing sure didn’t look like the Jennifer this woman remembered.
Dr. Habashy says, “Jennifer was determined to lose weight. She had been having problems with her medications and she had been truly suffering, both emotionally and physically, because of her weight and some of these medications. So whatever it cost her, Jennifer was determined. She never complained. She not only has the will, but the faith and the two work together beautifully. She is a religious woman of great conviction and this made all the difference for her.”
Jennifer says “God loves you even when you think other people don’t. For many years my self-esteem was so low because of being such a big person.The Lord helped me, but I had to help myself too. I had to want it too for myself and for my family. Now I am so much better and able to work more with Tyrone on the ministry and be healthier for my babies, Jasmine and Tyana. I am so grateful to God and to my husband and family and everybody who has supported me.”
Finding your own path towards greater health and wellness. Finding
a partner to walk along that path with you. Finding the will and a
way to stay on the path and to meet your goals. Steve Bennardo
and Jennifer Glaspie each found partners and paths.They found the
will and way.Their reasons and situations were different, but both
of them have taken back control of their health and
their lives and are all the better for having made that
intentional choice and having followed through with
strength and determination. Decisions like theirs are
highly personal. However, for both Jennifer and Steve,
it was a source of great help and comfort to know
that when they were ready to help themselves, their
primary care physicians and health care providers
were right there with them, prepared to be partners
and players in the project of seeking maximum
wellness and optimal health. No matter how able the
pilot, an excellent “navigator” makes every journey
easier and more enjoyable.
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